Ladies…..We need to talk.
If you read my blog, follow me on social media or know me in real life, you know I am in the messy process of divorcing. Since the “parting of ways” I have ventured into the scary pool of dating, and it has been an eye opening experience if anything. Dating in your 40’s is truly no different than dating in your damn 20’s. Sure, some things are different but the game is the same. I was surprised at how unvaried dating is at 42 from when I was even 32! I think I thought that because we are older, with more responsibility (and in some cases with children) dating would be different. I thought for sure everyone would have their shit somewhat together or have at least grown the fuck up. That was a fantasy. Seems no matter how old or young someone is, the bullshit of dating remains the same.
The most troubling to me about dating? Ladies..I hate to say this……is YOU.
Before you stop reading, let me explain. I like to think that on a whole us as women are the superior species. Sorry guys, but there isn’t enough time in the day or enough word space to explain why, but it’s how I feel. That being said, I have high hopes for us women. The ladies I am friends with and I mean my truest of true friends, are a special group. I think your core group of women friends ends up being a group of like minded ladies that share your drive, ambition, and interests. I guess I assumed that because we are over 40 and my girl group is fantastic, that all females at a certain point in life are all equally as fantastic or at least as motivated. I was wrong. There are still females out there that are jealous, unmotivated, want a man to take care of them, not working, the list goes on! I am almost shocked at the amount of women that cry and complain that there are no good men out there, yet are disasters themselves. For the love of all things holy….ladies get it together!
Since dating I have had a few experiences that have made me annoyed enough to sit and write a blog post about it. Social media is a huge factor in the stupidity I feel. I have said this time and time again…..no one knows how to act on social media! A man can post 6 pictures of himself with the woman he is dating and 1 photo of just himself. The single ladies club will openly drool over the 1 photo and literally bash the girl in the other 6 pics. Are we this thirsty ladies? Clearly the man doesn’t give a shit if you think he is hot or not as he is posting pics of the 1 women he does spend his time with.
Next is the X Girlfriend. You start spending time with a guy and all of a sudden the X factor appears. Ladies, why do you feel the need to bash the new girl? How about if he wanted to be with you, he would! Not the new girl’s fault your relationship failed. Why would you even think that making an appearance would change the mind of your X? Especially if the relationship ended badly.
My favorite though……and yes this has happened to me very recently…is the X that thinks you are gullible enough to become her friend so she can find out info about her X man. I view it as a blatant insult to my intelligence. It was done to me in 2 different ways and I laugh at you both! One way was for the person to cry the blues to me about how she is unhappy and sad and blah, blah, blah. Me being me, almost bought into it. I love to uplift other women and will help a fellow female in any way I can. Fortunately for me, I am intelligent enough to see through bullshit and no when someone is playing me as a fool. You have never wanted to be my friend in the past and know nothing about me. Let alone the fact we come from 2 different planets. Why would you all of a sudden want to be my friend? I know why…..because you are constantly calling your X and he won’t answer your phone calls. You thought that if you got to me, you could get to him. Newsflash…..he doesn’t want to talk to you, take care of you, take care of your kids or even buy you a cup of coffee. Sound harsh? Well so is your fake ass attempt at being my friend.
The second way in which this was done to me is so ridiculous I can’t even type the details (and yes, they are juicy). This person has some major problems in her life. A man is the LAST thing she should be concerned about, truly. But, here she is……on FB messaging me, asking me how I am. I haven’t seen, spoken or uttered your name in over 12 years. Why would I care how you are and why would you care how I am? We were never friends, just acquaintances. Not to mention, you have to really think I am an idiot if you think I am going to believe that you just all of a sudden want to say hi and be my friend. We have nothing to discuss.
I know this is a drama filled post. I know some of you know the ladies I am speaking of. I also know that I will hear things like “Why do you care? Why even write about it” I am writing about it because ladies…if your man likes my pic on FB, or your X man asks me on a date, or you want to get close to me because ya still got a thing for your X and he has been hanging with me…….how bout this…..move on. It is not the new girls fault. Look at yourself. Ask yourself is this bullshit really worth my time? If he wanted to be with you, he wouldn’t be trying to get with me. Don’t you want a man in your life that you don’t have to 2nd guess? A man that likes you and not me and whoever else he takes on a date?! And gentlemen……if you are still reading this…you are not entirely innocent either. You also annoy me. How about this…….if you want to sit there and act annoyed that your X is calling you, or want to NOT answer her calls in front of me or even tell me you don’t answer her calls at all, tell her to NOT call you. Change your number. Do something about it. Man up!
End Rant (Mike officially dropped)